Thursday, September 16, 2010

Borrowing a Blog Today

A fellow preacher, Wade Hodges, wrote the following blog. I found it thought-provoking. Hope you will, too:

“We just want to be fed.”

Every pastor has heard it from someone. Sometimes you catch it when they’re coming and sometimes when they’re going.

It’s something that church-going Christians say to justify their decision to change churches. Many use it as a smokescreen to cover up the real reason they’re leaving. After all, who can argue with such a rationale? That’s why God created the church, right? So that long-time church goers (and their kids) can be fed.

The irony is that usually the people who use this language are the ones who are least qualified to do so. If you’ve been attending church long enough to know the trick of using “we want to be fed” as an excuse to leave, then you should be spiritually mature enough to start feeding yourself.

Have you ever really thought of what imagery accompanies the “fed” metaphor?

When I hear it, I see a baby sitting in a high chair wearing an apple sauce smeared bib waiting impatiently for his mommy to shovel in another load of gooey stuff. Watch him as he closes down on the spoon. See his mother use it to wipe away the excess from the corners of his mouth. Now swallow. Good boy.

I’m sure anyone who has ever used this line to describe what they’re looking for in a new church is objecting to this image. Which one would you prefer? Maybe a wise shepherd leading his clueless sheep into greener pastures because heaven knows without a shepherd to guide them the ignorant sheep would either starve to death or sniff their way right off of a cliff.

Does that one make you feel any better?

There is a time when we all need to be fed like a baby or a sheep. My boys need feeding. If I don’t teach them the Scriptures and show them the way of Jesus, they will not find it on their own. New Christians need feeding. They need to learn a new story with new language as they leave their old way of life behind. But at some point, children and new Christians should grow enough in their faith to be wise enough to figure out how to feed themselves.

Pastors, we should expect the people in our churches to grow to the point in their relationship with God that they no longer depend on people like us to feed them.

Parents, we should reach a point in our faith when we no longer depend on someone else to feed our kids.

We need a new metaphor and fast, because too many “mature” Christians are making a fool of themselves by walking around saying they just want to be fed. It’s time they take off the bib, grab a spoon, and start feeding themselves.

What if one day the chief complaint from church going Christians were to be something like this:

The problem with our old church is that we weren’t being exercised. We’re looking for a church where we can work, serve, and maybe even suffer. We want to pay a price for something other than adding a new education wing to our building. We want to put it all on the line and do something crazy for God. We’re tired of being fed. We’ve been fed so much, for so long, that we’ve gotten fat. We’re spiritually obese and we can’t take it anymore. We want to be exercised!

Now that’s a metaphor.

It’s also a problem.

Pastors, let’s go ahead and admit it. If our churches were suddenly inundated with such complaints, we’d be the ones who would need to start wearing a diaper.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Weird!

I haven't been out to the cemetery since Jenny's birthday in early August. Late yesterday afternoon, Beverly and I went for an early supper. When we got in the car after eating, I said, "Something is telling me we need to go out to the cemetery." Beverly said, "That is strange, because three times today I have thought the same thing."

So we drove out there.

As we were driving up, we noticed that Jenny's monument was in place! We had been told we would receive a call when it arrived, but we hadn't yet.

Weird, huh?

It was much more emotional than either one of us expected it to be. I guess I am still in such denial that my precious girl is gone.

"Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God." (Psalm 43: 9,11; 43: 5)

He is my ONLY hope.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Yesterday Was a BIG Day

Yesterday my son Josh turned 30. As I watch him and my son Jonathan with their boys, who are 3 and 4, I am taken back to when they were that age. I remember that feeling of having them think I could do anything. It was both incredible -- and fearful. I knew I could never measure up, but it was fun while it lasted:)

I am so proud of Josh. He is so gifted as a preacher. But he also has a huge heart for the disadvantaged. In fact, it is his passion. And I am learning so much from him about living out the heart of Jesus.

Happy 30th, Son.
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I LOVED watching the Rangers beat the Yankees Sunday. Actually, sweeping them over the weekend was really nice. But Sunday's game was just good, fundamental baseball. Great pitching from Lee. And our closer, Felix, is UNBELIEVABLE! But we scored runs with good base-running decisions and timely hitting. So different from Rangers' teams of the past who basically depended on the home run.

Cowboys? ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

Wednesday, September 08, 2010

Burning the Quran?

I am sometimes SO embarrassed by things people do and say in the name of "Christianity." Too often, it is me.

Reverend Terry Jones, of Gainseville, Florida, I assume feels like he is doing the "Christian" thing by burning Qurans on September 11th. To an outsider, it looks like a publicity stunt. But what kind of publicity? And at what cost?

People have done crazy things "for the cause of Christ" through the years. Crusades have been fought. Inquisitions have taken place. Witches have been killed. Civilizations have been conquered. The KKK has been formed. Segregation has been defended.
And on numerous occasions, books have been burned -- which always seems to bring more attention to the burnees than to the burners. Yet even in my wildest imagination, I cannot picture Jesus smiling over any of that.

There are MANY reasons that Jones' book-burning is a really bad idea. Our military has asked him to reconsider because it will endanger our troups in Afghanistan. Others have argued that it will inflame Islamic radicals. I am not terribly sympathetic over that one, because they seem to get inflamed and blame Americans and Christians if their cereal gets soggy. (BTW, I seem to be in a minority that does believe that Islam is a violent, intolerant, hate-motivated religion whose aim is world dominance).

But listen: The main reason that what Jones is doing is wrong is because it is not Christlike. It bears no resemblance to the Sermon on the Mount. It is not being salt and light and leaven to the world. And it puts those of us who want to be Jesus to the world in a defensive position.

So he and his 400 or so deluded followers will have their 30 minutes of fame. But how many people will turn away from their only hope because of the false impression left by these impostors of Christ?

I wonder if Jesus blushes with embarrassment at us?

Tuesday, September 07, 2010

It Was Worth a Try

I have written before on this blog about my love for Memphis barbecue. So yesterday for Labor Day, I had a brainstorm (watch out!). I went and bought a side of both beef and pork ribs. Beverly helped me find a recipe, and I set out to try to duplicate our Memphis experience.

After 4 hours of wonderful aroma and mouths watering, it came time to actually try my experiment. Beverly and David tasted them first, and acted like they were delicious. I tried them, and I was SO disappointed. Not at all what I had expected.

I really think they were cheerleading me because they want me to keep trying to perfect this new menu item. But I have decided I will just settle for an occasional trip to a good ribs' joint -- and stick with my famous hamburgers and popcorn.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Coming Attractions

This week should be an exciting one. I am finishing up a 4-week series on baptism, and anticipating beginning a series on the Fruit of the Spirit. Also, our Bible class quarter changes with next week. I will be teaching Church History 2, beginning with Martin Luther. And on Wednesday nights, the men's class will be sharing from Francis Chan's Crazy Love, and I will be leading that discussion.

Further, our Houston grandkids are here this week with their mom. So much fun!

And tomorrow, I have been invited to play in a golf scramble at Cowboys. That is always a treat. So, it will be an action-packed week.
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I know preseason football doesn't mean anything, but surely die-hard Cowboy fans have to be wondering what is going on. After all, Jerry Jones says this is a Super Bowl-bound team. And we all know that when Jerry speaks, you can take it to the bank.

Come to think of it, has there been a team over the last 15 years that Jerry didn't think was at least playoff bound?
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It's hard to think football when it's 98 degrees outside. But it's here! High schools began last weekend, and colleges kick it off this week. I love Fall Saturdays, when I can get up and do a little work and then by afternoon sit down to watch football. I usually double-task (as I do when I am watching any sports), but there is just something about the atmosphere of it.

Go Frogs!


Thursday, August 26, 2010

The Best Country in the World

I borrowed the following from Mike Cope's blog, and thought it was interesting. i read the complete article, and Newsweek used a number of criteria to determine their ranking: education, health, quality of life, economic dynamism and political environment. I would be curious to hear your reaction. Here it is:

Newsweek’s cover story this week is entitled “The Best Country in the World Is . . . .” Here is their top ten:

Screen shot 2010-08-23 at 4.25.17 PM
1. Finland
2. Switzerland
3. Sweden
4. Australia
5. Luxembourg
6. Norway
7. Canada
8. Japan
10. Denmark

It was a good survey if you live in northern Europe! Congrats to Scandinavia.

In the next ten spots you pick up (in order) the United States, Germany, New Zealand, United Kingdom, South Korea, France, Ireland, Austria, Belgium, and Singapore.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Good Trip to Tennessee

We had a wonderful time in Memphis. Two and a half days of hanging with our Tennessee grandkids and their parents. Got to play golf with Josh. Took the kids to Chucky Cheese (my 1st experience there). Truitt absolutely had a blast. Ate delicious pork barbecue. Celebrated Noah's birthday. We will celebrate our anniversary later.

Yesterday was especially good. The Sycamore View Church of Christ is a wonderful body of believers that have encouraged our weak knees in many ways in these last 6 months. I was blessed to be able to preach at both their services, and Beverly and I were interviewed by Josh during the Parents of Teens class. That went especially well.

Thanks to so many of you who prayed us through the weekend. In some ways, 6 months seems like only a few days. The full reality of life without our precious daughter still has not fully sunk in. Beverly reminded me that Saturday was not only Noah's birthday and our anniversary. It was also Jenny's 22nd spiritual birthday. She was baptized on August 21, 1988.

Our doctor who sang over Jenny as she went to be with Jesus sent us an email attachment of him singing "It is Well With My Soul." What a gift and what a blessing.

Today is Malaya's 1st day of 5th grade. She and David will be on my mind all day.


Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Off to Memphis

Thursday morning Beverly and I will head east to Memphis, Tennessee. We are going there to celebrate August 21st. For 33 years, that was the day we celebrated our anniversary. Now it has been hijacked from us by a cute little dude named Noah. Saturday is his 1st birthday. So we will celebrate our anniversary later.
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34 years! Wow! That makes me sound old. I will tell you this: The incredible woman I married on August 21, 1976 just keeps getting better and better. I have had a ringside seat of watching her be transformed into the image of Jesus. And the serendipity of that is that she has pulled me along with her. What a woman!
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We will stay over in Memphis until Sunday. I am going to preach at two services Sunday morning, and Beverly and I will be involved in a parenting Bible Class. I am looking forward to that!

There is something else I am looking forward to as well. Thursday night. On arriving in Memphis, we are going to eat pork ribs. Bring 'em on!
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Please keep us in your prayers. While so much of this weekend is going to be about celebrating, Sunday also marks 6 months since Jenny went to be with Jesus. Like the sky, her memory covers everything we do.

Monday, August 16, 2010

No Do-Over

Yesterday in my sermon, I mentioned in passing about Uzzah, who committed a "letter-of-the-law" infraction by touching the Ark of the Covenant as it tipped -- and was zapped. I also mentioned Nadab and Abihu, who offered "strange fire" before the Lord -- and were zapped.

Yesterday I watched a true-to-life zapping. Dustin Johnson came to the 18th hole in the PGA Championship needing a par to win. He ended up bogeying the hole, and was walking off the green thinking he was headed to a 3-man playoff.

At that point, he was informed by an official that he had grounded his club in a bunker on his 2nd shot on 18. This was a little area of sand that the crowds had been sitting in and walking through. I have NEVER seen a tournament in which this has been the case. It didn't have the appearance of a bunker. Yet the rules said it was. Result? Zapped. Two-shot penalty. Instead of a tie for 1st, he dropped to a tie for 5th.

I felt so sorry for Dustin. It didn't seem fair. No room for grace. No do-over. No 2nd chance.

Imagine if that was the way it was with God today. Any violation of the letter of the law -- ZAP! No room for grace.

Actually, I don't want to imagine it. As a result, instead of hiding in fear of a zapping -- I run TO the One who offers grace and forgiveness.

Thank you, Father, for the One who purchased my pardon. I praise you, Jesus, for new life.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Another Good Quote

This week's Tozer quotes are really good. I want to share another one with you today:

But we have renounced the hidden things of shame, not walking in craftiness and handling the word of God deceitfully, but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God. --2 Corinthians 4:2

Here again is seen the glaring discrepancy between Biblical Christianity and that of present-day evangelicals, particularly in the United States....

To make converts here we are forced to play down the difficulties and play up the peace of mind and worldly success enjoyed by those who accept Christ. We must assure our hearers that Christianity is now a proper and respectable thing and that Christ has become quite popular with political bigwigs, well-to-do business tycoons and the Hollywood swimming pool set. Thus assured, hell-deserving sinners are coming in droves to "accept" Christ for what they can get out of Him; and though one now and again may drop a tear as proof of his sincerity, it is hard to escape the conclusion that most of them are stooping to patronize the Lord of glory much as a young couple might fawn on a boresome but rich old uncle in order to be mentioned in his will later on. Born After Midnight, 17.

Have a blessed weekend. Peace.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Urgency!

From A. W. Tozer:

Let a flood or a fire hit a populous countryside and no able-bodied citizen feels that he has any right to rest till he has done all he can to save as many as he can. While death stalks farmhouse and village no one dares relax; this is the accepted code by which we live. The critical emergency for some becomes an emergency for all, from the highest government official to the local Boy Scout troop. As long as the flood rages or the fire roars on, no one talks of "normal times." No times are normal while helpless people cower in the path of destruction.

In times of extraordinary crisis ordinary measures will not suffice. The world lives in such a time of crisis. Christians alone are in a position to rescue the perishing. We dare not settle down to try to live as if things were "normal." Nothing is normal while sin and lust and death roam the world, pouncing upon one and another till the whole population has been destroyed
. Born After Midnight, 30.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Radical Discipleship

Selected qoutes from Francis Chan in a chapter entitled, "Profile of the Obsessed," from Crazy Love:

  • Obsessed: To have the mind excessively preoccupied with a single emotion or topic.

  • The idea of holding back certainly didn't come from Scripture. The Bible teaches us to be consumed with Christ and to faithfully live out His words.

  • Sometimes I feel like when I make decisions that are remotely biblical, people who call themselves Christians are the first to criticize and say I'm crazy, that I'm taking the Bible too literally, or that I'm not thinking about my family's well-being.

  • If one person "wastes" away his day by spending hours connecting with God, and the other person believes he is too busy or has better things to do than worship the Creator an Sustainer, who is the crazy one? If one person invests her or his resources in the poor -- which, according to Matthew 25, is giving to Jesus Himself -- and the other extravagantly remodels a temporary dwelling that will not last beyond his few years left on this earth, who is the crazy one?

Radical, huh? Yeah, radical like Jesus.

Monday, August 09, 2010

Gear Up, 2

Yesterday our church experienced our 2nd "Gear Up." Although we did not have nearly as many people show up this year, it was still an incredible opportunity to be Jesus to our community. I think our members receive as much or more blessing from serving than do those being served. We had well over 250 volunteers!

I am so thankful for the vision of a handful of our women that has made this a reality.
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Tiger Woods, where are you? The #1 player in the world has fallen off the map! Right now, he is a living testimony to how much our emotions affect other aspects of our lives. I cannot think of another athlete who has shown the ability to get "in the zone" like Tiger has throughout his career. But right now, he is in a different area code.

Many are ready to write him off. That would not be wise. Not yet, anyway.

I am equally amazed at Phil Mickelson. For the last several weeks he has been given prime opportunities to take over the #1 spot. With Tiger's dismal showing over the weekend, all Phil had to do was finish 4th or better -- which is where he was after two rounds. So he proceeded to shoot 78 on Sunday! Go figure.

Thursday, August 05, 2010

Dog Days of August

Last night Beverly and I were blessed to be invited to share our journey with the Saturn Road Church of Christ. Our good friend Gary Bingham, who serves that church as an elder, did an incredible job of interviewing us. It was wonderful to see so many friends from our Mesquite days. Others came from Trophy Club and Decatur to be with us. The night was a real blessing.
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Monday I was in a traffic accident. I left my Honda at the shop this morning. Even though no one was hurt, it was yet another reminder of how fragile life is.
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The forecast here in north Texas is hot, hot -- followed by a few days of hot. But that it pretty typical for August. I would like to see some hint of rain in the forecast. What I begin to think at this time of year is that in another 5 weeks or so we will get our 1st cool front. And that leads to my favorite season -- Fall.

Monday, August 02, 2010

Oh What Memories!

Thirty-two years ago tomorrow (August 3rd), Beverly and I became parents. Mom and Dad. We will celebrate our daughter's birth tomorrow by visiting the neo-natal centers at Presbyterian Hospital in Denton and Baylor Grapevine. Jenny often said that someday she wanted to volunteer at a hospital and just rock babies. She loved children SO much.

On her birthday in 2006, I wrote the following blog:

On August 3, 1978 the people of Albany, Texas (north of Abilene) were overwhelmed with 20 inches of rain. The Great Albany Flood. That same day, Beverly and I were overwhelmed with the birth of our oldest child. During Beverly's pregnancy (which she loved. I know you will find it surprising that she found joy in that), people would ask if we wanted a boy or a girl. I wished for a girl. And the Lord granted my wish.

It was still in the days where the father was not allowed back with the mother during delivery. So, when I finally got to hold that beautiful bundle, it was just unbelievable. She brought so much joy into our lives.

She was born with a voice like an angel. Her cry was soft -- almost considerate. But from the time she began to talk, she could sing on pitch. To this day, her voice gives me goosebumps.

So many wonderful memories. I loved rocking her to bed every night, and reading her bedtime stories. Butterfly kisses. Working puzzles. Icees. Going for walks. PIcking the "Oak-oak" (that's okra for you grown-ups) out of my garden.

Whenever we traveled, she would shout, "I see choo-choo train." And she would continue saying it until we said, "Yes, Jenny. It's a choo-choo train."

When she was in kindergarden, she came home from school with an assignment: Write a letter to Santa Claus. So, she and I sat down to write. I asked, "What would you like to say?" No response. I said, "How about let's begin with 'Dear Santa.' What do you want to say next?" She thought for a moment and said, "Rabbit Santa."

I am so glad that Jenny is our first child. If we had had one of the boys first, we might have been tempted to stop there (Just kidding, guys). My only regret is that I was so new at the parenting thing, I made a lot of mistakes with her. If I could do it over again, she would never doubt that she is the pride of her father's heart.

I am so very pleased with the woman my daughter has become. She is an outstanding mother, wonderful volunteer, and a woman of strong faith and conviction. She made an excellent choice in a mate. David is a father-in-law's dream. And I am so very grateful for the way in which she shares precious Malaya with Grammy and Grampy.

Please keep the Ross and Bizaillion family in your prayers this week.


Thursday, July 29, 2010

Part of the Journey

I went to a funeral yesterday at which one of our elders, Mike McDowell, officiated. He shared a quote from C. S. Lewis's book, A Grief Observed. Lewis wrote this book after the untimely death of his beloved wife. In it he wrote, “Her absence is like the sky, spread over everything.”

Words could not be truer.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Through the Eyes of a Child

Attending the Rangers' game last Thursday night with my son Jonathan and grandson Jed was a real treat. It was Jed's 1st major-league game, and this 4-year old was wide-eyed for the entire game. He especially kept an eye on Josh Hamilton and Michael Young. When Young hit a solo homer early in the game, Jed was SO excited. He took in every detail of the game, the ballpark and all the proceedings. Never a sign of boredom. I'm glad I got to be there.
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So Dez Bryant refused to carry Roy Williams' shoulder pads. Is this a big deal or not? After all, rookies have long had to endure razing from the veterans. But there is something amusing about a guy who has yet to win the respect of the Cowboys fans or coaches expecting a high-profile rookie to carry his shoulder pads. I mean, if it had even been Miles Austin telling Dez to carry HIS shoulder pads, I might feel differently. But Roy Williams? Seems to me HE ought to be carrying all the receivers' shoulder pads since they have been having to carry him for two years.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Rangers' Game: Is it Air-Conditioned?

Hard to believe it has been 5 months today since Jenny went to be with Jesus. In some ways, I feel I am progressing in the healing process. Yet, in other ways, it is still as raw as it was on February 22nd. It depends on what moment of the day it is -- and there is nothing to predict when those feelings hit. Grief is a monster.
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My son and grandson are dragging me out to a Rangers' game tonight. I like watching a Rangers' game on TV, but sitting out in the 100 degree heat doesn't appeal to me like it used to. Now if it was playing golf in it -- that would be different.

Actually, I am looking forward to my time with them. Sometimes I just like to play the role of the grumpy grampy.
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Jimmy Johnson on Survivor? The easiest way to get him eliminated would be for the rival team to steal his hairspray. He would probably immediately quit.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Radical Discipleship

A. W. Tozer wrote many years ago, and yet what he wrote seems so relevant to today as well. Sometimes he comes across a bit grumpy, but his words ought to alert our consciences. The following is from today's devotional reading:

The church is afflicted by dry rot. This is best explained when the psychology of nonexpectation takes over and spiritual rigidity sets in, which is an inability to visualize anything better, a lack of desire for improvement.

There are many who respond by arguing, "I know lots of evangelical churches that would like to grow, and they do their best to get the crowds in. They want to grow and have contests to make their Sunday school larger." That is true, but they are trying to get people to come and share their rut. They want people to help them celebrate the rote and finally join in the rot. Because the Holy Spirit is not given a chance to work in our services, nobody is repenting, nobody is seeking God, nobody is spending a day in quiet waiting on God with open Bible seeking to mend his or her ways. Nobody is doing it-- we just want more people. But more people for what? More people to come and repeat our dead services without feeling, without meaning, without wonder, without surprise? More people to join us in the bondage to the rote? For the most part, spiritual rigidity that cannot bend is too weak to know just how weak it is. Rut, Rot or Revival: The Condition of the Church, 8! ,9.
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I had begun reading Francis Chan's book, Crazy Love, before Jenny got sick. I have picked it back up and have been reawakened to Jesus' call to discipleship. Chan is a radical disciple. Google his name and read about him on wikipedia.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Still Thinking Fruity

I shared last week about spending time in sabbatical reading about the fruit of the Spirit (getting fruity). The following really has no connection, but I guess fruit is just on my mind right now.

On Thursday I bought some nectarines. They were so good I nearly went back to the store to get some more. I love them when they are crunchy -- between green and ripe. Anyway, Saturday our friends (Randy and Linda Davis) brought us a sack full of nectarines from their tree. And they are delicious.

As I ate one on Saturday, I told Beverly, "This is my favorite fruit." Then I remembered how much I love fresh pineapple and a good navel orange. It got me to thinking. I did not realize that I am really a fruit lover! Imagine the fun God had creating such incredible flavors for us!

So, here are my favorite fruits:
1. Fresh pineapple -- It's worth going on a cruise or an all-inclusive resort just to get plateloads of fresh pineapple. Nothing beats it.
2. Nectarines -- not green, but not ripe.
3. Naval oranges. If they are pithy, forget it.
4. Fresh peaches. I don't like the feel of biting through the fuzz. But if I trim it off, a fresh peach may be (next to pineapple) the perfect flavor sensation.
5. Avocado. Think fresh, tableside guacamole.
5. Red seedless grapes
6. Banana -- again, not green and not overly ripe.
7. Watermelon

Not making my list of favorites:
1. Any melon other than watermelon. Cantaloupe sets my teeth on edge, as do honeydews, etc.
2. Persimmons

That leaves a lot of fruits that didn't make either list. Like plums, strawberries, grapefruit, etc. I like most of these, but not like I do my top 7.

So how about you?



Thursday, July 15, 2010

Desperate Faith and Hope

Right now I am in a season in which faith and hope have lost some of their "umph." I keep asking God why He made faith so hard. I mean, a person who is honestly seeking Him -- couldn't He just give that person a little peek?

I know what Paul said in Romans 1 about "what may be known about God is plain . . . clearly seen." So am I just lumped in with the godless and wicked he mentions there because I am struggling to see what is supposed to be so plain and clear? The creation of the universe: Yes, that is plain and clear. The deafening silence of the last 5 months is not.

And while I have so often claimed from the pulpit that hope is "confident assurance," right now my hope is neither confident or assured. It is a desperate clawing to just find a fingerhold. So I completely understand the anguish of David in Psalm 13, when he wrote, "How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? . . . Look on me and answer, O Lord my God. Give light to my eyes . . ."

And so I once again come back to the words of Peter to Jesus, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life."


Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Back Home

I am back in the office today after a wonderful week in Orlando. My greatest regret is that I only got to play golf 6 times. I do feel much more fruity, as I spent a lot of time in Galatians 5: 22-25. It is humbling to realize how much more of my life needs to be surrendered to the Holy Spirit.
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Tomorrow begins the British Open (or as the Brits would say, "THE Open"). I am going to enjoy watching it and no matter where they are on the course, saying, "Hey, I was there!" Again, if you watch it and they show #11 tee box, remember that Beverly and I shared communion with our friends there.


Sunday, July 11, 2010

Another First

Beverly and I are having a great week in Orlando. She is soaking up information like a sponge, and I am getting fruity. I am reading about the fruit of the Spirit, and becoming convicted by how far I have to go in REALLY letting Him loose in my life. I will be preaching through this beginning in the Fall.

Today marks another first since Jenny died, and I am finding firsts to be really tough. Twelve years ago today, Jenny married David. I thank God for David, and am grateful for the day he became a part of our family.

Please keep David in your prayers today. He is a good man who loves the Lord, and I know this is a really challenging day for him. This morning he is also co-speaking at the church where Josh preaches, so I pray blessings on both of them.

Friday, July 02, 2010

Truth

How is this for a quote?: “Jesus promised those who would follow Him only three things. . .that they would be absurdly happy, entirely fearless, and always in trouble.”

Thursday, July 01, 2010

The Faces of Jesus

I am continually trying to think up new ways of getting out of old ruts. My experiments may seem elementary to many of you, and many of the things I try are things I have SAID for years -- but not put into practice.

Right now, I am trying to remind myself as I enter into any setting that each person I see is made in the image of God. I pray that God will help me to see Jesus in each person. It is amazing the difference it makes. I am hopeful that this will become a new rut. I feel pretty safe with it.
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Josh and I got home last night from Eastland at about 10: 45 PM -- expecting the grandkids to all be in bed. As I opened the door, I was greeted by Jed (4) and Truitt (3). They both immediately began shouting, "Grampy, you're a double-goober with a cherry on your head." Where do these kids get such things? Oops, never mind.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Grandkids and Root Canal (Don't Get Them Confused)

Our house has become a beehive of activity. Beverly brought our Houston grandkids back to Decatur yesterday. Malaya is with us, as is David. And she brought her brand-new puppy. It's a Maltese-poodle -- and is cute as can be. But I have to watch each step I take, because she loves to cuddle against my feet as I walk. Add to that the fact that every toy known to man is out on our floor -- making our house a virtual minefield.

Oh, and our Memphis family is joining us tonight!
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This afternoon I am going to see my favorite, wonderful, always-so-gentle dentist (I have to lay it on thick because he reads my blog). I will be having a root canal. I've heard horror stories about them, but I'm ready to get it taken care of. And I think dentistry has improved methods of dealing with this -- right, Doc?


Friday, June 25, 2010

Happy Birthday, Jonathan!

Today my YOUNGEST child turns 27! Hard to believe. Happy birthday, Jonathan!
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How about the Rangers? Eleven straight wins. Last night's come-from-behind win was fun. It's a shame they have Tom Hicks' bankruptcy hanging over them right now.
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And an 11-hour tennis match? Of course, they got a night's sleep before the last hour. Ten hours of tennis would be pretty grueling. Makes me feel even sorrier for the loser of the match. He deserves SOMETHING!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Faith

Faith -- what does that mean? I think for me, without even realizing it, faith has meant a system of belief. And yet, that is the 4th meaning in Webster's Dictionary.

Everything in my life is being lived in a post-February 22nd way. And faith has now been stripped down to what I believe Biblical faith is really all about. Webster's 1st definition is "allegiance to . . . a person", and #2 is "belief and trust in God." Those are where my life is being lived now. Like a desperate drowning person holding onto a rope for dear life with no other options to turn to -- that's where I am today.

We have often used Hebrews 11: 1 as a definition of faith. It says, "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." I love the verse. But let's be honest: It sounds like a riddle. Does that REALLY tell us what faith is? Sure of what we hope for? Certain of what we do not see? It seems to me that the writer is telling us that faith boils down to a choice. A choice to TRUST. It can't be proved. It can't be diagrammed.

And while faith in God and the gospel is not blind faith -- it is still a choice to trust what we cannot prove. We have many choices. We can choose atheism. Sorry, that takes more blind faith than anything I know of. We can choose Buddhism, or Hinduism, or Islam, etc. As I consider them all, I keep coming back to this simple statement of faith: "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life."

Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." And I CHOOSE to put my faith in that.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Father's Day

Yesterday was a really difficult day for me. Actually, it was brutal. My 1st Father's Day to ever spend without the one who originally bestowed that honor on me. And ironically, my text yesterday was the 5th Commandment: Honor your father and mother. This was a challenge for a couple of reasons. 1. Coming from a dysfunctional family, I find this commandment to be particularly difficult. But 2, it has a promise that if you do honor your parents you will live long in the land. Well, my daughter honored me and Beverly, and she didn't receive the promise. I know there is obviously more meant there than length of life. But when you are where we are right now, things look really different.

Also, today I am officiating at my 1st funeral since Jenny died. As I sat before my Bible late yesterday afternoon trying to come up with words for a grieving family, I was overwhelmed myself with grief. I'm glad no one else was in the office at the time.
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I was blessed to be able to play Champions Golf Club in Houston last week. That course has hosted a U.S. Open, Ryder Cup, and several Players' Championships. It was a real treat.


Wednesday, June 16, 2010

An Exciting Day!

Today is an exciting day for me. Beverly and I are heading to Houston where I will speak at Bammal Road Church of Christ tonight. Of course, we also get to spend some time with our Houston grandkids.

But the highlight will be after I speak tonight. Malaya, my oldest granddaughter, is in Houston already. And tonight she wants her Grampy to baptize her!

Interesting: Her Grammy was 10 when she was baptized. And I had the honor of baptizing her mom on August 21, 1988 (Beverly and my 12th anniversary). She was also 10. I am confident that Malaya will mature into the spiritual giant that her Grammy and mommy did.

I don't know for sure what Heaven is like. I do know that Scripture says there is rejoicing in Heaven at an event such as tonight's. So I picture my precious daughter, Jenny, rounding up a party in Heaven right now (she always was the organizer). I can't imagine anything that would make her more proud than this.

Monday, June 14, 2010

More on Sabbath

I am almost obsessed right now with the idea of sabbath. I would love to have people share what that looks like for them in their own spiritual journeys. Sad to say, it is almost an unknown discipline among American Christians. We have so bought into our culture's mantra of busyness being a virtue. It has turned into a game of one-upmanship. "I'm busier than you are" -- as if that makes me more valuable. But who would say to someone, "I am less disciplined than you are"? Because in reality, that is what "busyness" really reveals.

Beverly and I have spent some time over the weekend talking about how we can set aside a sabbath time for ourselves. Time of quiet -- to reconnect with God. Can we really set aside a whole day every week for that? I don't know. Right now, we are talking more like an afternoon.

Again, I would love to hear how that works for you, or even ideas you are considering.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Sabbath

What a blessing Beverly and I received last night at her fundraiser. To see the way her ministry is affirmed by our community is so encouraging. And the sensitivity shown to us was gratifying. God has SO affirmed us being where we are.
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I am preaching through the 10 Commandments right now. This week is the 4th Commandment, that pertains to the "Sabbath." When we approach Scripture as if it is a legal document rather than a call to know God, we end up as empty shells of what God intended for us. I think that is true when it comes to this commandment. In fact, the call to "Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy" is the main reason many will say, "We are not under the 10 Commandments any more." It threatens our "meeting on Sunday" doctrine.

Well, we meet on Sunday because it is resurrection day! But to throw out the Sabbath command because we don't meet on Saturday is to miss God's "health care plan" for His people. God knows how we operate. And He knows we need a day of rest. Not more activity crammed into another day, but a day of rest. A day to reorient ourselves to Him.

I don't do very well at this. Even in my leisure, I fill it with activities (often mindless ones like watching TV). What would a day of rest look like? I don't have it figured out yet, but I am going to make this my quest. I would love to hear from you.
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Please pray for our group that left for Ecuador this morning. They will be gone for a week.


Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Thanks to Good Friends

Tomorrow night Beverly will hold her annual "information and fund-raiser" event. She usually holds it in April, but had decided to forego having one this year. That is, until a few of her dear friends decided that THEY would do it for her. So tomorrow night it will be a done deal.

I am blown away at the friends we have. I know of few things more gratifying. And it leaves me humbled.

The Lord has multiplied Beverly's ministry here in Decatur beyond what I would have ever dreamed. She now has another part-time therapist working with her. And this is all possible because of the generous support of friends and people in Wise County who see the need, and how Beverly is helping to mend lives.

So pray for tomorrow night. Through this ministry, life patterns are changing that will affect generations to come. May the Spirit fill the banquet room with the fragrance of Jesus.

Monday, June 07, 2010

Walking By Faith -- FIRST

Anselm of Canterbury (c. 1033 – 21 April 1109) was Archbishop of Canterbury from 1093 to 1109. He has been called the "Father of scholasticism," which was a movement in the Middle Ages that desired to reconcile Greek philosophy with Christian teachings. He is perhaps best-known as the originator of the "ontological argument" for the existence of God -- a system of logical proof for God's existence.

All that to say this: I have come to really appreciate a prayer he prayed, as over the last few months my nicely-bundled theology has been turned on its head. He once prayed, "I do not try to understand you so that I can trust you. I trust you so I can understand you."

It fits nicely with another quote that resurfaces regularly for me right now. It was advice given to me by a preacher friend. "Learn to be content in the mystery."

Thursday, June 03, 2010

Comforting Words From an Old Hymn

William Cowper, a poet and hymn writer from the 18th century, suffered from severe mental illness. He tried to commit suicide. After spending a year in an insane asylum, he moved in with a Christian couple who cared for him. He continued to be plagued by mental illness, which might explain how he could write such great poetry.

The following verse from his most famous hymn, "God Moves in a Mysterious Way," illustrates his confidence, though fragile, in God's kind sovereignty. Although written in old English, it means a lot to me right now.

Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,
But trust Him for His grace;
Behind a frowning providence
He hides a smiling face.

His purposes will ripen fast,
Unfolding every hour;
The bud may have a bitter taste,
But sweet will be the flower.

Blind unbelief is sure to err,
And scan His work in vain;
God is His own interpreter,
And He will make it plain.

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

A Feeble Blog Attempt

Every weekday morning I sit before my computer trying to decide whether to blog or not. Right now I am going through a desert period where ideas just don't come. Or maybe it's more like they don't seem too relevant these days. I used to blog about sports every so often, but that just seems empty. Politics? It's a joke. Pretty much all I can think to write about is Jenny and heaven.

So here is a half-hearted try.
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Oh, good. Another Lakers-Celtics final. These teams have won over half of the NBA championships in history. Why even have a regular season?
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Things sure appear to be headed for a war in the Middle East. I pray that will not happen.
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I used to work for the company that was bought out by BP (Amoco Oil). Amoco had a great safety and work record. BP can't say that. They have had fatalities at the very refinery I worked at. And this oil spill is a complete embarrassment. I am all for off-shore drilling, but how about let's have plans in place for when something goes wrong.
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I am not saying that the Obama administration SHOULD be held liable for its handing of this crisis, but I am wondering how the media would be spinning it if Bush were still president.
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Oh, well. There is my feeble attempt at blogging today.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Our Trip to Scotland

We made it back home last night after 10 days in the UK. We had a really nice trip with our friends H. L. and Shirley Ross. They made it more enjoyable for us because they drove, and I would have been a nervous wreck if I had been trying to do that.

They had left several days before us, and picked us up at the airport in Glasgow, Scotland -- which is on the southwest side of the country. From there, we went along the western coast, spending our 2nd night in a B and B on the Isle of Skye. It was a gorgeous island. In fact, I was surprised at how beautiful Scotland is. The gorse is in bloom, and so there are splotches of yellow all over the landscape. And everything is SO green.

From there, we traveled along the north to a B and B (our favorite one) just outside of Inverness, which is in the highlands on the northeast side of the country. Many of the mountains were still snowcapped, and water was still cascading down from the snowmelt. We ate dinner one night in Dingwall, not far from Inverness. It was the headquarters of the Ross clan, and that area was my ancestors' stomping grounds. We learned that the Ross clan was considered to be fierce fighters. In fact, for anyone who has seen Braveheart -- my ancestors helped fight for Scottish independence under William Wallace.

We also were able to locate my grandfather's birth home in Inverness. While there, we visited with the current owner. He said that the building was 180 years old -- which means that to us it was old when my granddad was born there in 1902.

We went to several castles and relived much of the history of Scotland there.

Of course, the highlight of the trip for me was on Sunday, when we went to St. Andrews. We walked the Old Course for 4 hours. We stopped and had communion and prayer together on the 11th tee box. Think about that if you watch the British Open in July. It's a par 3. After walking the course, I really wanted to play it. But it was such a treat. The night before we walked the course, we ate at a restaurant just off the 1st tee and 18th green, and the next day had lunch just up the street.

From there, it was on to London, where we spent a day and a half. From Saturday (Edinburgh Castle) to Tuesday, I bet Beverly and I averaged walking 6 miles a day. We saw many of London's famous sites: Big Ben, Westminster Abbey, the River Thames, Buckingham Palace, Trafalgar Square, Parliament, Hyde Park. But catch this: About 11:50 on Tuesday, we were walking toward Westminster Abbey, when we saw a bunch of people gathered up and down the streets. From where we were, I could see Big Ben, so I thought, "Oh, they're gathering to hear it chime at noon." We hurried down to join them. It was then that we saw mounted soldiers and marching soldiers coming our way. They were followed by ornate carriages. Only then did we realize that we were standing about 50 feet from the back gate to Buckingham Palace. And guess who was in one of the carriages? THE QUEEN! That's right, we saw the Queen. She had just delivered a speech at the opening of Parliament. What a serendipity that was!

Great trip, but it's always good to be home too.

Friday, May 14, 2010

My Daughter's Voice . . . and Strange Food

I finally got up the courage to listen to a saved message on my phone yesterday. It was from Jenny. She had her sweetest "Dad" voice. She had come across a coupon from Home Depot for hot tubs, and was trying to convince me to buy one. She knew I wouldn't because we had had that conversation a number of times before. But she was teasingly trying to convince me how much we needed it.

Oh, I miss her.
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This will be my last blog for a couple of weeks. We are not taking any computers with us to Scotland. I think H. L., Shirley, Beverly and I will fit right in over there. We all have such a Scottish brogue.

People keep telling me that I need to wear my granddad's kilt. Right. My granddad weighed about 125 pounds and had a 30 inch waist. If I put on his kilt, it would look like an apron.

I have also been asked if I will try Scotland's national dish, haggis. The answer is NO! Someday I may be hungry enough to eat animal guts. But I am not at that point yet. I often wonder how some foods came to be. I mean, imagine the 1st person to eat haggis. "I think I'll dig through this sheep's innards, take out the heart, liver and lungs, mix them with some onions and oatmeal -- and make a pudding. Yum-yum."

I mean, I have been a Texan for 40+ years, and I have never tried menudo. So I don't think I will fly to Europe to eat haggis.

The bravest adventurers when it came to food may be the ones who 1st decided to try mountain oysters. I mean, REALLY! What were they thinking?





Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Praying the Psalms

This week I have begun praying through the Psalms. I am reading them from The Message. The 1st verse of Psalm 7 has absolutely captured me. I can't get it off my mind. It says, "Go! God! I am running to you for dear life . . ." That SO describes my existence right now.
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Anyone who has followed this blog knows what a huge Jack Bauer fan I am. In my previous life (before this February), violence didn't bother me. Either that or I was in denial. But now, I can't stand to watch life cheapened like that. So while Beverly and I are going to finish out this year's "24," I am kind of glad it will be ending. The episode Monday night was one of the goriest ever. And that is saying a lot for "24."
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I want to refer you to an incredible video clip. Of course I think so because it is my son, Josh. He is beginning a series on the fruit of the Spirit, and so he is going to show this clip. You can download it and watch it at www.sycamoreview.org.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Mother's Day -- A New Tradition

Yesterday (Mother's Day) was a challenging day. In recent years, I have come to realize how difficult this day is for many people.

For some, it is because of the pain of memories of a mother who was toxic. What a challenge it is to honor one who brought such emotional pain.

For others, the day is painful because they WANT to be mothers -- but are unable to.

And for others, it is painful due to loss. And that is where we found ourselves yesterday. In the bitter-sweetness of honoring Beverly and her mom and her sister -- while at the same time our hearts breaking due to Jenny's absence.

The sweetest (yet difficult) part of the day was at 3 PM. That's when we headed to Chili's -- all nine of us. Malaya had told Beverly a couple of days ago that she wanted to start a tradition of going there each Mother's Day to share in Jenny's favorite dessert -- White Chocolate Molten Cake.

It was a sacred moment.

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

A Royal Priesthood

As our trip to Scotland gets closer (11 more days), I find myself becoming more excited. I also find myself more interested in that Iceland volcano. I hope it will behave itself for a few weeks.
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Today I am going to lunch with my granddaughter. I have been trying to do that once a week for the last few months. She is an incredibly strong person, and I am so proud of her. Today: Chick-fil-a.
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This Sunday I am going to begin a series on the Ten Commandments. As I have read in preparation for this, I was struck by God's words to Israel in Exodus 19: 5: "Now if you obey me fully and keep my covenant, then out of all nations you will be my treasured possession. Although the whole world is mine, you will be for me a kingdom of priests and a holy nation."

These words are strikingly similar to Peter's words to us, the new Israel, in 1 Peter 2: 9: "But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light."

In both cases, God has called a people to Himself -- not to insulate us from the world. But for us to be priests! To mediate between God and the world.

Israel failed in their calling. They thought "called out" meant isolation.

I'm wondering if we haven't often made the same mistake.

Monday, May 03, 2010

Catching Up on the News

Beverly and I spent late Wednesday night through early Saturday afternoon in Memphis. We had a really good time with our Tennessee family. We went to what I consider to be the best zoo I have ever visited (that even includes San Diego). We ate BBQ (In my opinion, pork barbeque has beef beat). We went horseback riding -- something I have not done in, well, since I got thrown off a horse in Honduras. It was GREAT! That is, until I lost my wallet -- in the middle of the forest. Our gracious host and I got on 4-wheelers and retraced our ride. I had about given up hope of finding it. But sure enough, he found it.

And, of course, our reason for being in Memphis: We stayed for Truitt's 3rd birthday party. It was quite a scene as 20 kids played in the garage while the air sirens went off warning us of tornados.
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We drove back through some heavy rain, but most of it had already passed us. As we drove across the Mississippi River into West Memphis, we saw many houses with water right up to the door. And I really doubt that the water had crested at that time. Really sad.
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It saddens me to hear about another terrorist attempt in New York City. I don't get it. I know terrorists prey on our fears -- but to what end? Their tactics don't endear them to anyone except other terrorist extremist. And I can't think of any terrorist event that has changed our lifestyles -- other than the added security measures now taken. They simply further marginalize themselves from the world with every attempt. And I can hardly think of anything more cowardly than the wholesale killing of innocent people. So I don't get it. But Beverly once told me in respect to another situation that rational people cannot understand the thinking of irrational people.
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Where are you when we need you, Red Adair?


Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Lament

Tiger and Phil in the same tournament for two straight weeks. This could be interesting.
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Words from John Mark Hicks' book, Yet Will I Trust Him:

Suffering is an intensely personal experience. Others cannot experience what the sufferer at that moment experiences. They cannot understand. The sufferer sits alone . . . Nevertheless, the questions, doubts, and despair of the single sufferer are the same as those of a million sufferers. We all ask, "Why me?" "Why this?" "Why now?" and "Why doesn't God do something?" We all ask, "Where is God?"

Like C. S. Lewis, after the death of his wife of three years, I was not "in much danger of ceasing to believe in God" as much as "coming to believe such dreadful things about Him."

Could Scripture speak to the aching heart? Could it provide a place for lament? I entered a new world, the world of faithful lament. Faithful lament was a new category for me. How can lament, with its accusations, bewilderment, doubt, tears, and frustrations, express faith? Prior to my own personal suffering, lament was unknown to me. Christianity was a faith of joy, celebration, and hopeful anticipation.

My worldview was dominated by triumphalism. God's army will conquer. We will set the world aright. We will establish the perfect church. My outlook had no room for lament.

But my own suffering forced me to lament because the believer, who continues to believe, can only lament in the midst of suffering. Lament, with all its confusion, desperation, and doubt, expresses the sufferer's faith. Lament does not disown God; it appeals to him . . . to rescue the one who has been faithful to him.

Monday, April 26, 2010

I'm Trying

I'm really wanting to blog more right now, but where thoughts used to come to me regularly -- they're just not there. I mean, what's on my mind this morning is: "OK, I got dressed and made it to the office this morning." Not exactly exciting stuff. So I am kind of trying to force it right now.
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The Mavericks are being thoroughly manhandled by the old men down south of here. Dampier is a sad situation. The guy looks like he ought to be able to have his way on the court. But he is a non-factor. Kidd looks his age right now. And Dirk? I REALLY like him, so don't get me wrong. Probably the best big-man shooter ever. But as I have said before, he is not the kind of guy you can ride to a championship.

Again, I am trying to force it right now. Truth be known, after about 3 minutes of watching, my mind has left the building.
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I can't remember if I have mentioned that Beverly and I are gearing up for a trip to Scotland in three weeks. We will be traveling with some friends of ours from Decatur (also named Ross, but no relation other than in Christ). We will locate my grandfather's childhood home in Inverness, stay on the Isle of Skye, visit castles and walk St. Andrews. We will spend a couple of days in London, as well. Our friends were a married truck-driving team, and they have driven in Scotland before. So we will travel the country by car.

Can't wait!


Thursday, April 22, 2010

On the Emmaus Walk

It has been two months ago today that Jenny went to be with Jesus. How can something seem like only yesterday, while at the same time being hard to remember life before it?

This week and next week, I am returning to Luke for two final lessons. The account this week is of the disciples on the road to Emmaus. I can honestly say that I can now totally relate to the discouragement they must have felt. They had entered Jerusalem a week before with great hope and anticipation. Much as we entered the hospital hanging on any word of hope. No doubt, that week they experienced ups and downs -- just as we had moments when things looked promising, only to be dashed by setbacks. And finally, like they watched their hopes be snuffed out as Jesus died on the cross -- we experienced the depths of heartache and despair as we watched our baby girl go.

And so their 7-mile walk back to Emmaus must have been torturous. I know. I can remember vividly our walk from the ICU waiting room (our home for 2-1/2 weeks) to the elevators, and leaving the hospital to go to the car. "We had hoped . . ." That was their words as they walked. And it was certainly ours, too.

But Jesus secretly walked with them and listened. And I have no doubt he has done the same with us. And when He revealed Himself to them -- oh, the joy they felt.

I am in that in-between part of the journey. I know He is with me. I know He hears me. But I am anticipating Him revealing Himself to me in all this -- restoring MY hope.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Jenny's Run for Hope

Jenny's Run for Hope on Saturday was incredible! I was pleasantly surprised at the turnout, considering the weather was very questionable. It had rained before the race, but it held off long enough for us to get all the activities in. Then the rain began, and lasted through much of Sunday.

I want to thank all those who put this event together. It was perfect! Jenny would be so pleased. Also, a huge thanks to all the volunteers and the booth sponsors. And of course, to those who participated in the race or walk, or donated to the event. Each of you continue to be God's ministers to our family.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Broken Things

I am reading Terry Rush's book, God Will Make a Way. It has been very helpful to me. I want to share a quote:

"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous; but the LORD delivers him out of them all." Psalm 34: 18-19

In Heart Held High, by Martha Snell Nicholson, we read these words:
We are now His broken things. But remember how He has used broken things; the broken pitchers of Gideon's little arm, the broken roof through which the paralyzed man was lowered to be healed, the broken alabaster box which shed its fragrance abroad and the broken body of our Savior"

Another quote, this from Paula D'Archy: "I know this, you can't die from crying . . . or I'd be dead."

And finally, Augustine: "Everywhere a greater joy is preceded by a greater suffering."

Monday, April 12, 2010

10 Years -- Wow!

Saturday our precious Malaya turned 10. That's as in 10 on 10, '10. It was a bitter-sweet day, to say the least. She had a wonderful time -- especially when she found out that she had a brand-new trampoline in her back yard.

But there was a heaviness because of an absence. Malaya was the pride of her momma's heart. I can remember so vividly as we shared in Malaya's birth in Abilene. Our lives (Beverly's and mine) were changed that day as we assumed new roles as grandparents. But the joy on our daughter's face! Oh, to be able to see it again.

Actually, I am betting the bank on the fact that I will.

Friday, April 09, 2010

Family Fun Run/Walk

The following post is borrowed from Jenny's Carepage. We would love to see you all there!

Hello, everyone, and thank you SO MUCH for all your interest in our upcoming 5k race and 1 mile Family Fun Run/Walk. Jenny's Run for Hope IS happening and we are excited to announce it will be Saturday morning, April 17th, at Timber Creek High School in Keller, Texas. The 5k race will start at 9:00 am (checkin begins at 7:30 am) and the Family Fun Run/Walk will start at 9:15 am plus live entertainment, vendor booths and jump houses until 11:00 am. The cost is $25 per runner in the 5k (includes an official Team Biz t-shirt) and $15 per FAMILY for the 1-mile run/walk (includes "Hope" bracelets for up to 6 participants). All contributions are tax deductible and proceeds from the event will benefit the Bizaillion Fund, in honor of our beloved Jenny Biz. Registration opens this weekend and will run through Race Day...simply visit www.jennybizaillion.org. Please join us if you can!

For those of you who are interested in SERVING that day rather than running, we have several needs for volunteers and donors/sponsors as well. This includes helping in the KidStand Fun Zone, parking area, water/food stations, registration tables, etc. Of course, we need a TON of "cheerleaders" as well to make each runner feel special, just as Jenny would have done herself. If you would like to volunteer or sponsor a portion of the event, please email jennysrunforhope@yahoo.com and let us know where/how you'd like to help. If you've ALREADY sent a message to Jessie or the family offering to help, it wouldn't hurt to send us another note because there are so many wonderful people out there and we don't want to miss a single one!

Blessings to everyone. We love you!

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Understanding Grief

Last night Beverly and I traveled with two of our shepherds and their wives to North Dallas to hear Alan D. Wolfelt, an expert in the field of grief, on the topic "Understanding Grief: Helping Yourself Heal When Someone Dies." I want to explore his information more. But in this blog I am going to just share some random quotes:

"We do not "overcome" grief; we "surrender."

John Donne: "He who has no time to mourn has no time to heal."

"Pain becomes bearable when we are able to trust it will not last forever; not when we pretend it doesn't exist."

"'Whys?' precede 'Hows?'"

"Someone saying, 'You can't be mad at God' doesn't change you being mad at God. You just can't be mad at God in their presence."

"Funerals are not just celebrations (as is becoming "in" in our culture); they are memorials."

"Before counseling, remind yourself: 1. There is no reward for speed, 2. There is no desired outcome, and 3. Look for the divine moment."

"Death may not be the greatest loss of life. It could be what dies in you while you live."

"You must listen to the music of the past so you can sing in the present and dance into the future."

"When we admit our vulnerability, we include others. If we deny it, we shut them out."

"When you are sorrowful, look again into your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that in which was your delight." Kahlil Gibran



Tuesday, April 06, 2010

Content in the Mystery

This is traditionally one of my favorite weeks of the year. Masters Week.

I watched parts of Tiger Woods' interview from yesterday. Either he is an excellent actor, or he has truly been humbled. I was encouraged by what I saw. I don't think he has much chance to win this week, however. Even he will be overwhelmed by making this his 1st tournament in 5 months. But I will be watching.
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"Sometimes I think the Church would be better off if we would call a moratorium on activity for about six weeks and just wait on God to see what He is waiting to do for us. That's what they did before Pentecost." A. W. Tozer, The Counselor, 95.
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Right now I am living with a quote that my minister friend John Scott gave me. I may have shared it before, but I am finding it helpful as I search for sense in all of this. "Learn to be content in the mystery." That is going to become my motto.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Words from My Precious Granddaughter

My policy for a number of years has been to not post "anonymous" responses on this blog. Since I have picked up some new readers in recent weeks, I have bent my own rule. I really want to encourage responses. So I am asking that if you choose to reply to my blog under the "anonymous" option, please put your name at the end of your comment. Thank you.
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Last night Beverly and I went to Malaya's school open house. On the wall the teacher had put students' writing assignments. Seeing Malaya's, along with her art work illustrating it, reminded me to post this. We had seen it a couple of weeks ago when her teacher shared it with us.

The assignment was to complete the statement, "If . . ." Here is Malaya's response (remember, she is 9 years old):

If Imagination Were Real in Different Ways
By Malaya Bizaillion

If angels and spirits could talk . . .
If Mom were here . . .
If clouds were windows and the sun was the entrance to heaven . . .
If no one could leave this earth . . .
If hearts weren't broken . . .

If there were no color . . .
If there were no sin in the world today . . .
If death were defeated . . .
If heaven was earth . . .
If my heart was still full of pride and not broken . . .
If people could keep promises . . .


Monday, March 29, 2010

Quotable Quotes

I started reading Randy Alcorn's If God is Good on Friday. Let me share a few jewels I have uncovered so far:

"After his wife wife died, in great pain C. S. Lewis realized, If I had really cared as I though I did about the sorrows of the world, I should not have been so overwhelmed when my own sorrow came."

Auschwitz survivor Viktor Frankl wrote, "Just as a small fire is extinguished by the storm whereas a large fire is enhanced by it, likewise a weak faith is weakened by predicaments and catastrophes whereas a strong faith is strengthened by them."

"The faith that can't be shaken is the faith that has been shaken."

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Thursday Blues

As days of the week go, Thursday is not my favorite. It used to rank fairly high. But in the last month+, it has fallen drastically.

Five weeks ago today, my precious princess spoke her last words to me. It was the day after her surgery on her legs, and I still don't know for sure if she asked me, "My legs?" or "Malaya?" So I assured her Malaya was OK, and spoke to her as she drifted back to sleep. I am convinced that the next day, the brain lesion had taken her from us, although her body passed on Monday.

One month ago today, we buried Jenny. It was the most beautiful memorial service I have ever been at. The outpouring of love carried us through that day. But, oh, the grief!

One day at a time. One step at a time.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

The Gospel of Beck

I don't know much about Glenn Beck. He strikes me as a Rush Limbaugh clone -- someone who knows how to say outrageous things in order to get ratings. After all, that is what talk radio is all about -- getting ratings.

Recently, Beck made the comment that if your church preaches a gospel of social justice, to "run as fast as you can." He said that social and economic justice are "code words" for communism and Nazism.

I agree with the newspaper columnist Leonard Pitts who wrote that "the gospel according to Beck is missing the red words." I personally don't want anyone running away from our church. But I would be an unfaithful minister of the Word if I was to fail to call us to social justice. It is one of the main themes of Scripture, maybe best summed up with these words from Matthew 23: 23: "but you have neglected the more important matters of the law -- justice, mercy and faithfulness." Scripture even tells us that justice is more important than the offering of ritual worship!

When the Israelite (and Scripture) spoke of justice, it was not in the legal sense that we might think of -- administering a right judgment in court. Rather, it was about caring for the marginalized.

There are obviously many strengths to American capitalism. But that is not to say it is perfect. And one of its weaknesses is that it dehumanizes those who are "lesser." The assumption is that their condition is their fault. Sometimes, that is true. But not always. And mercy would still call upon us to care for them all. Not to enable, but to empower. I believe that as a nation, this is not just an option. I believe God will hold us accountable to that.

I like the way Pitts ends his column. He writes: "(Beck) thinks we should flee the church that preaches social and economic justice? I think you should flee the one that does not."

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Please Be Gentle

After we returned from our Disney cruise on Sunday, I could not decide whether to blog about it or put it on Carepages. I went with the second option -- because there were so many people I wanted to thank beyond those who read my blog. If you would like to read that, go to www.carepages.com/carepages/JennyBizaillionUpdates.

Through this painful season, I am finally learning the lesson of Job's friends. Their best ministry was done when they simply practiced presence. Once they started trying to explain human suffering and offer profound words, their ministry became misery to Job.

Someone either sent me the following piece or I read it somewhere. I am sorry, but so much of the last 6 weeks seems like a fog. If you sent it to me, thanks.

Please Be Gentle, by Jill B. Englar

Please be gentle with me, for I am grieving.
The sea I swim in is a lonely one, and the shore seems miles away.
Waves of despair numb my soul as I struggle through each day.
My heart is heavy with sorrow.
I want to shout and scream and repeatedly ask "why?"
At times, my grief overwhelms me and I weep bitterly, so great is my loss.
Please don't turn away or tell me to move on with my life.
I must embrace my pain before I can begin to heal.
Companion me through tears and sit with me in loving silence.
Honor where I am in my journey, not where you think I should be.
Listen patiently to my story, I may need to tell it over and over again.
It's how I begin to grasp the enormity of my loss.
Nurture me through the weeks and months ahead.
Forgive me when I seem distant and inconsolable.
I need your support and understanding.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve.
I must find my own path.
Please, will you walk beside me?

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

The Sting of Death

Yesterday morning David, my brother John and I went out to the cemetery to look at memorial stones. It made me stop and think: How many funerals have I conducted? As we walked around, I saw several graves of those whose services I have had a part in just since I have been in Decatur.

And then I thought of the grief. The grief those families experienced as they journeyed through the passing of a loved one. Grief that, too often, I have naively assumed passed after a couple of weeks. After all, I mourned when my dad died. And I mourned when Beverly's dad died. But I have never known grief. Not like this.

Since Jenny's death, I have heard about a teen who died in a ski accident. And a young woman who died in a car crash. Yesterday I stood at the grave of a 17-year old girl who died a couple of years ago in a car crash while on her way to school one morning. And there was the 32-year old man who ran a half-marathon Sunday, got to the finish line and high-fived his friend, and fell over. He died minuted later. He left a wife and two kids.

In the past, I would have thought for a moment about those young lives taken. While I did that in these situations, too -- immediately my thoughts went to the families. Oh, what grief!

Paul asked, "O death, where is your sting?" I can tell him. It is piercing the hearts of people who loose a loved one. Oh, I know that through Jesus, the sting has been ultimately removed. But it sure feels like a swarm of killer bees right now.


Thursday, March 11, 2010

I've Gained Respect

Something keeps haunting me. Not too terribly long ago, I blogged about how I live this charmed life. I serve a great church. I have a great marriage. Three incredible kids who married three wonderful people. Five beautiful grandkids.

I don't want to take this too personally, but I wonder if Satan heard that as a challenge. My mind now goes to the opening pages of Job. Satan knew where he could strike me that would be the most painful. He won a battle. But he will not win the war.

Through this ordeal, I have gained some respect for Satan. I don't mean admiration. I mean respect in the same way that one should respect the Mafia if they were living next door. I think about ways we make fun of Satan. "If the devil doesn't like it, he can sit on a tack." That's like poking a lion with a stick.

I'm struck by the words of Jude (v. 9): "But even the archangel Michael, when he was disputing with the devil about the body of Moses, did not dare to bring a slanderous accusation against him, but said, 'The Lord rebuke you!'" I don't know exactly what this means. But I do think it suggests that Satan is not to be trifled with.

And I am so glad that Jesus stands beside me.


Monday, March 08, 2010

A New Week

Yesterday was Beverly's birthday. It was a bitter-sweet day for a number of reasons:

For one, Jenny has been at the center of our birthday celebrations for so long. I am still in such denial of the fact that she is gone. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross was right when she defined the stages of grief. And she was right in saying that people experience those stages differently. I seem to be randomly going from one to another. I just don't seem to have a moment when I am not thinking about her. It was two weeks ago today that Jenny went to see Jesus. It seems like yesterday.

Second, it was my 1st week back in the pulpit since Jenny went in the hospital on February 4th. While it was difficult, it just seemed right. And it again affirmed to me that I am in the right place. Yesterday, the church I minister to ministered to me and Beverly. What an awesome group of Christians!

Today, I seek peace by resting in the God of mercy and Father of all comfort.

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Spiritual Depression

How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with any thoughts, and every day have sorrow in my heart? (Ps. 13: 1-2)

But if I go to the east, he is not there;
if I go to the west, I do not find him.
When he is at work in the north, I do not see him;
when he turns to the south, I catch no glimpse of him. (Job 20: 8-9)

O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, and am not silent. (Ps. 42: 10)

I spread out my hands to you; my soul thirsts for you like parched land. (Ps. 143: 6)

These heart-wrenching cries are prayers -- addressed to a God who seems either deaf or completely absent. Perhaps more surprising, they are IN THE BIBLE! This leads me to conclude that perhaps a season of spiritual depression -- a state of God-forsakenness -- is normal. Perhaps it is even to be expected.

In some strange way, today I find some comfort in that.

Monday, March 01, 2010

Broken and Empty

I am back at the office this morning. It's not where I want to be -- but it is where I need to be.

We just finished the month of February, and I am glad it is the shortest month of the year because it has been brutal. As a family, we keep looking for explanations. We try to make some sense out of this whole thing. But we hear only silence. Still the silence is better than any attempts to explain at this point (That probably won't make sense unless you have been there).

Today I plan to open the Word and read from Yancey's Prayer, as well as Disappointment with God.

As a family we are empty today. We believe the Lord will again fill us. The other day, Josh said that we, a family of ministers, will be "playing wounded" for a while. He told about how Emmitt Smith played one of his greatest games with a separated shoulder. And while I totally understood and agree with Josh, I couldn't help but say, "I would rather play with a separated shoulder than with a broken heart."

Yet today I find myself hearing over and over again the words of my daughter, who said, "I want people to remember me as someone who, even when she didn't get her way, praised the Lord." That is what I choose to do.

Friday, February 05, 2010

Link to Check on Jenny

For updates on Jenny, you can go to the following link. The next 24-48 hours are critical. All her systems are shutting down right now. She has been given a 50-50 chance of survival.

Please continue to pray. But let me tell everyone: No matter what happens -- God is good and deserving of our praise.

Calling for Prayer

I am crying out today to YHWH-Rapha, and am begging you to join me in pleading with the God Who Heals. My daughter is in very critical condition this morning. Her body is racked with a staph infection, and is in sepsis. The doctors are being very guarded in their prognosis, and have told us that the next 48 hours are critical.

Please pray for Jenny, her husband David and my granddaughter Malaya. Also, Beverly and me and the family. This has really blindsided us.

Thursday, February 04, 2010

Please Pray!

My daughter has been sick with the flu for about a week. As I write this, she is at the doctor's office with real severe chest pains. Please be praying for her body to fight off this virus, and for her to be well quickly. Thank you so much.

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Crazy Love

What I am about to write is not to bash Michael Jackson, OK? As I have written before, he was one of the most talented showmen in my lifetime. Rather it is to question those who are trying to shape his legacy. I keep hearing it said that his body of work had one message: Love. And while admitting that I never had a recording of his, I am fairly familiar with many of his hits. So I am thinking which ones these people are alluding to? "Billie Jean"? Or "Thriller" or "Beat It"? Or maybe the weird ballad to a rat named "Ben"? Just wondering.
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Interesting lines from the book I am currently reading, Crazy Love:

Quoting Fredrick Buechner: "Intellectually we all know that we will die, but we do not really know it in the sense that the knowledge become a part of us. We do not really know it in the sense of living as though it were true. On the contrary, we tend to live as though our lives would go on forever."

From the author, Francis Chan: "When I am consumed by my problems -- stressed out about my life, my family, my job -- I actually convey the belief that I think the circumstances are more important than God's command to always rejoice. In other words, that I have a 'right' to disobey God because of the magnitude of my responsibilities."

Then, speaking of worry and stress, he says: "Basically, these two behaviors communicate that it's okay to sin and not trust God because the stuff in my life is somehow exceptional. Both worry and stress reek of arrogance."

Monday, February 01, 2010

Church, Football and Golf

Yesterday was a great day for our church. I am so appreciative of our shepherds who are taking such a proactive position in encouraging strong marriages. And then as Mike shared highlights from 2009, and things to look forward to in 2010 -- it was just exciting. I am currently serving with an eldership and staff that most ministers only dream about. Unbelievable! And I'm coming up on 5 years here!
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So who wins the Super Bowl? I feel like the Colts will win, but I'm pulling for the Saints.
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Golf isn't experiencing its best days right now -- with the Tiger fiasco, and now Phil Mickelson has been accused of cheating by using wedges that are outside of the rule change.