But there was a heaviness because of an absence. Malaya was the pride of her momma's heart. I can remember so vividly as we shared in Malaya's birth in Abilene. Our lives (Beverly's and mine) were changed that day as we assumed new roles as grandparents. But the joy on our daughter's face! Oh, to be able to see it again.
Actually, I am betting the bank on the fact that I will.
3 comments:
I know Malaya is surrounded by so many who love her and trust God is using them to bless her through difficult times. I know the hope that our children will be surrounded by the presence of God when bad things happen in their lives, things they don't understand, things that leave them feeling helpless. It is during those times that I pray God is all over them and is sending His love through the compassion of others.
Rick - you read this sermon one day in church as you were preaching what has now become my favorite chapter in the Bible, Hebrews the 6th chapter. I listen to this tape, which was in 96-97ish, on a weekly basis, practically know it by heart. I have both that chapter and this poem posted in my office and it is a daily reminder to keep my chin up. You have touched my life, and so has Beverly in a way you will NEVER know. I'm am thankful for the short time I got to spend with you both, thanks to my brother and sister in law, Sean & Sheri Maness.
I thought this was pertinent during these difficult times for you. It has pulled me through so much.
"When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road your trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and its turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When you might have won, had you stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow.
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victors cup;
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when your hardest hit,
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit!"
Blessing to you both...
~Missy Maness Smith
Rick,
Joy Cruse lost her 81/2 year old son Connor Cruse in July 09. She has since started a journal about her feelings and emotions and her prayer life. Hope this is helpful to you.
Joy's Journal
Last time, I spoke about unanswered prayers or not getting the answers we prayed for. Sometimes, we experienced something else with our prayers. SILENCE. At times, it was though there was a brick wall where God's answers were being blocked. I would cry out in frustration, "Why can't I hear you?" Or when I did hear from him, I felt as though I was misunderstanding his answers to me. It was as if my radar was faulty. I either didn't hear anything or it wasn'tcoming in clear. I would read His Word and interpret it one way,only to find out later, that is not what those Words or promises meant to me. What do we do when God is silent or unclear?
I will say that even when He was silent, I felt His presence. I never felt alone, but what could be the point of His silence? Surely, there is a purpose in ALL that He does. Finally, 9 months after Connor's death, maybe I have some understanding behind God's purpose in all this.
We were discussing this in Bible Study and my friend, Marcy, made an interesting observation. If the Lord had not remained silent or unclear to my questions about Connor's fate, how would I have responded? Would I have acted in such faith if I knew Connor would not live past the age of 8 ½? Would I have fought so diligently for him if I knew my efforts would have been in vain? Could I have livedwith no regrets without that valiant fight for my son's life? WouldI have carried Hope in my heart if I knew Connor's final date on earth? Could I have remained strong? Honestly, I don't know the answers to those questions.
I do know that things would have been different, though, if I had the knowledge of Connor's fate ahead of time. What would God have said to me if He had not remained silent? Would those answers have been a benefit for me or my downfall? In hindsight, I am grateful for His silence. It reminded me of Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men, "You can't handle the truth!"
Like Garth Brook's song the dance, I would not have wanted to know when the dance would end. I see God's wisdom now in his silence, though His silence at the time was heart-wrenching and maddening. Again, His Sovereignty is a blessing.
"Can anybody hear me?
The silence is deafening
Why do You feel so far away?
When I know You're here with me
But I just need faith to see
Nothing can separate me from Your love
I will trust in You, even in the moments I can't find You,
and I will hold on to Your promises of love
You've never failed before"
By: Meredith Andrews
Always believing,
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