There are certain issues that I confess my faith is weak in. I am so engrained with the American ideal of "I have to be in charge and do it all on my own."
I got a late start in my retirement planning -- after raising three kids, putting them all in braces, paying car insurance, then college and weddings, etc. So now, I am doing what I can to prepare for that. I sometimes think I am on target to retire at age 70, perhaps. Then, something like last week strikes. The stock market is taking a nose dive, which is expected to continue today. I'm thinking of how much I have lost. Beverly reminds me that I didn't lose it, because it was never really mine. But I saw the amount on my daily report, and it sure seemed like mine:).
In my moments when I am being led by the Lord, I realize that there are some things I cannot control. I am doing what I can, and just like millions of others -- am subject to things outside of my control. The Lord is wanting me to surrender that to Him anyway. He has always proven to be faithful to me. Why should I doubt Him now?
But it is an ongoing battle between my fleshly nature and my Spirit nature. May the best man win. And He will!