There are people in Texas who think I am wishy-washy when it comes to football because I root for both Texas and Texas A&M. Fact is: I just want Texas teams to shine on the national level, so I root for both. However, I don't bleed burnt orange or maroon.
Having said that, someone sent me an email that I thought was hilarious. Those of you who DO bleed burnt orange may fail to see the humor. Don't take offense. Just laugh, because some of these one-liners are funny. Here it is:
It's been almost one (1) week without an arrest of a Longhorn football player! Good Job Mack - way to keep those boys in line!!!
(Note: for those of you that don't know, Austin's Pride has produced, within the last month, four (4) boys- w/ mug shots and prints. Two for armed robbery (w/ firearms), one for auto burglary & DUI and another for DUI. )
1. What do you call a drug ring in Austin?
2. Four UT Longhorns in a car, who's driving?
3. The UT Longhorns have adopted a new "Honor System".
Yes your Honor, No your Honor.
4. The UT Longhorns knew they had to do something for their defense, so they hired a new defensive coordinator:
F. Lee Bailey.
5. How do the UT Longhorns spend their first week at fall practice?
Studying their Miranda Rights.
6. What do you say to a Longhorn in a suit?
Will the defendant please rise?
7. If you see Longhorn football player on a bike, why don't you swerve to hit him?
It might be your bike!
8. The Longhorns employ scouts. But to look out for cops, not to scout high school kids.
9. I heard a rumor that the Texas Department of Corrections plans to build a new prison in Austin, Texas in order to allow Longhorns to walk to school.
10. What do you call it, when a Longhorn goes on vacation?
Time off for good behavior.
11. Why couldn't the Longhorn get into a huddle on the football field?
It's a parole violation to associate with known felons.
12. Obviously Coach Mack Brown is not paying his players if they have to resort to robbing people.
13. Book 'em, Horns!