Thursday, September 27, 2007

It's a Joke, OK?

There are people in Texas who think I am wishy-washy when it comes to football because I root for both Texas and Texas A&M. Fact is: I just want Texas teams to shine on the national level, so I root for both. However, I don't bleed burnt orange or maroon.

Having said that, someone sent me an email that I thought was hilarious. Those of you who DO bleed burnt orange may fail to see the humor. Don't take offense. Just laugh, because some of these one-liners are funny. Here it is:

Longhorn football

It's been almost one (1) week without an arrest of a Longhorn football player! Good Job Mack - way to keep those boys in line!!!

(Note: for those of you that don't know, Austin's Pride has produced, within the last month, four (4) boys- w/ mug shots and prints. Two for armed robbery (w/ firearms), one for auto burglary & DUI and another for DUI. )

1. What do you call a drug ring in Austin?

A huddle.

2. Four UT Longhorns in a car, who's driving?

The police.

3. The UT Longhorns have adopted a new "Honor System".

Yes your Honor, No your Honor.


4. The UT Longhorns knew they had to do something for their defense, so they hired a new defensive coordinator:

F. Lee Bailey.


5. How do the UT Longhorns spend their first week at fall practice?

Studying their Miranda Rights.


6. What do you say to a Longhorn in a suit?

Will the defendant please rise?


7. If you see Longhorn football player on a bike, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bike!


8. The Longhorns employ scouts. But to look out for cops, not to scout high school kids.


9. I heard a rumor that the Texas Department of Corrections plans to build a new prison in Austin, Texas in order to allow Longhorns to walk to school.


10. What do you call it, when a Longhorn goes on vacation?

Time off for good behavior.


11. Why couldn't the Longhorn get into a huddle on the football field?

It's a parole violation to associate with known felons.


12. Obviously Coach Mack Brown is not paying his players if they have to resort to robbing people.


13. Book 'em, Horns!

4 comments:

Kyle R. said...

Ba da da dump

And all the Aggies and Sooners applaud.:)

Jeff said...

Totally and utterly humorless.

Kristen said...

This Aggie is applauding! I'm a stalker blog reader. You know, always reading, but never commenting. Since I'm continually subjected to Aggie jokes (and I politely listen), a list such as this truly brightens my day. :)

randy from Oklahoma said...

Boomer sooner, boomer sooner, boomer sooner . . .