Thursday, September 27, 2007

It's a Joke, OK?

There are people in Texas who think I am wishy-washy when it comes to football because I root for both Texas and Texas A&M. Fact is: I just want Texas teams to shine on the national level, so I root for both. However, I don't bleed burnt orange or maroon.

Having said that, someone sent me an email that I thought was hilarious. Those of you who DO bleed burnt orange may fail to see the humor. Don't take offense. Just laugh, because some of these one-liners are funny. Here it is:

Longhorn football

It's been almost one (1) week without an arrest of a Longhorn football player! Good Job Mack - way to keep those boys in line!!!

(Note: for those of you that don't know, Austin's Pride has produced, within the last month, four (4) boys- w/ mug shots and prints. Two for armed robbery (w/ firearms), one for auto burglary & DUI and another for DUI. )

1. What do you call a drug ring in Austin?

A huddle.

2. Four UT Longhorns in a car, who's driving?

The police.

3. The UT Longhorns have adopted a new "Honor System".

Yes your Honor, No your Honor.

4. The UT Longhorns knew they had to do something for their defense, so they hired a new defensive coordinator:

F. Lee Bailey.

5. How do the UT Longhorns spend their first week at fall practice?

Studying their Miranda Rights.

6. What do you say to a Longhorn in a suit?

Will the defendant please rise?

7. If you see Longhorn football player on a bike, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bike!

8. The Longhorns employ scouts. But to look out for cops, not to scout high school kids.

9. I heard a rumor that the Texas Department of Corrections plans to build a new prison in Austin, Texas in order to allow Longhorns to walk to school.

10. What do you call it, when a Longhorn goes on vacation?

Time off for good behavior.

11. Why couldn't the Longhorn get into a huddle on the football field?

It's a parole violation to associate with known felons.

12. Obviously Coach Mack Brown is not paying his players if they have to resort to robbing people.

13. Book 'em, Horns!


Kyle R. said...

Ba da da dump

And all the Aggies and Sooners applaud.:)

Jeff said...

Totally and utterly humorless.

Kristen said...

This Aggie is applauding! I'm a stalker blog reader. You know, always reading, but never commenting. Since I'm continually subjected to Aggie jokes (and I politely listen), a list such as this truly brightens my day. :)

randy from Oklahoma said...

Boomer sooner, boomer sooner, boomer sooner . . .