Thursday, January 28, 2010

Deep Life Questions

Occasionally I have dealt with some deep questions on this blog. Today I really want to go deep.

1. Why do cracker companies wrap their crackers in that ridiculous wax paper that cannot be opened without ripping? There is no smoothness to the way it opens, nor is there any seam that it actually follows as it is further opened. Do you know what this is like for someone who is borderline OC?

2. Why does my car think that when I unlock it, if I don't get in it within about 30 seconds -- that it needs to lock the doors again? Is the manufacturer trying to protect us from the many times we are mugged as we walk to our cars -- and have unlocked them? And if so, in that case, wouldn't the mugger be able to get the keys anyway? What is the possible purpose this feature serves?

3. Why, when you go to a store like Sam's and walk straight from the checker to the door, do you have to undergo a screening not unlike boarding a plane in order to get out of the store? The only purpose I can see that this serves is providing a job for someone. So on that count, thanks for your contribution to the economy, WalMart!

Maybe you have some deep life question that we could ponder together.


Kyle R. said...

For discussion purposes I'll take a crack at some answers to your deep questions.

1. Crackers and wax paper: I guess wax paper is is the cheapest way to create a moisture barrier so your saltines or ritzes are not mushy goo when you tear them open. Why they can't or won't put an easy tear seam-- I don't know. Maybe it's just to annoy you.

2.YOur Honda: Your car is too smart for its own good.

3. Sam's checkers: Since Wal Mart is the world's largest retailer that is in business to make a profit, I doubt their post-purchase ticket/merchandise screener is to simply provide a job for someone. It is probably the cheapest way that they can curb tricky shoplifters. But then again, you have to wonder about the purpose of the famous Wal mart greeter as well.

My deep question:

Why do we have wisdom teeth?

They certainly don't seem to invoke wisdom. And mostly all they do is cause problems.

Anonymous said...

I can see that we have more similarities than we may realize.

No matter how you shake it, why does red water always come out first when squeezing a ketchup bottle? The same goes with mustard, except the water is yellow.

Josh Ross said...

"Borderline OC"--I don't think so. :)

1) To test the fruit of the Spirit.

2) To encourage exercise. If you can't unlock a door and get there within 30 minutes, it says more about the person than the manufacturer.

3) No clue.

Art said...

Crackers, Scissors for the top, side seam pulls apart nicely.

Honda, Put key in ignition might lock the other doors but not the drivers.

Sam's has one of the lowest pilferage rates ( can't say that about Walmart)

Ketchup & Mustard, that's vinegar and it doesn't mix well with anything. Guess you'll have to shake it.

Jeff said...

I've never thought much about the cracker problem. At our house, they go too quickly to worry about it.

Buy an old truck and you won't have an issue with your door locks.

I get the checkout deal at Sam's and Costco but never WalMart. Maybe they think you look suspicious.

As long as we are going deep, I often wonder why the people at Subway ask me if I want my Subway MELT toasted. I want to say no just to see what they do next but I just chuckle and nod yes.