Thursday, May 29, 2008

Something to Chew On

Randy Moon sent me this email yesterday. I love these kinds of things, perhaps because I like trivia. But there is a lot of wisdom in some of the statements. I hope you enjoy it:

Only in America drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America........ do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

Only in they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.


Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why you don't ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a 'broker'?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?


Anonymous said...

Great stuff! I love these kinds of things. Thanks for sharing.

Jeff said...

I bet there's a sermon in there somewhere.

I know why the investor guy is called a broker.

I never thought about Noah not killing a few pesky bugs. It might need to be another question for Heaven after I get past some of the more weighty ones.

Kyle R. said...

I like these kind of questions too. It gives my sluggish mind a little exercise and bit of a chuckle as well.

I think there may be some practical answers to the questions like the pharmacy one and the ATM in braille. It may be the nature of the controlled substances dispensed by the pharmacist and the security of them. And I imagine that ATM manufacturers do not differentiate between making a machine for drive-up use or walk up use. But, hey, what do I know?

I always liked this one: Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

randy said...

On one side of the truck it says Ram. On their other side it says Ram. I think they're after someone.

randy said...

Opps. I meant Dodge and Ram. Sigh, getting old.