Friday, January 28, 2011

Grieving "Lasts"

As we continue in our grief journey, I have had plenty of people warn me about all the "1st." 1st birthday without Jenny. 1st Mother's Day. 1st Father's Day. 1st Christmas. And on and on.

But one thing I was not prepared for is "lasts." Right now, in every direction I turn, I am reminded of "lasts." Last time we went out to eat together was on a Sunday in late January. We met Jenny and David and Malaya at Chili's in Keller. Last time I saw her before she went into the hospital was Saturday, January 22nd at one of Malaya's basketball games. I had just gotten a Blackberry and she was proud that I had entered into the 21st century. Josh tweeted yesterday about the last conversation he had with her was a year ago last Wednesday. And Beverly stayed with her on Thursday night before she got sick on Friday because Beverly had a plane to catch the next morning.

So a year ago tomorrow began our journey. January 29th: The day Jenny got sick with "the flu." As you may know by now, that was a wrong diagnosis. She had strep. She was given a prescription of Tamiflu and we thought everything would be fine. What we did not know was that strep was racing through her body unchecked for 6 days. A simple dose of antibiotic and this precious daughter, wife, mother and friend would still be with us.

Oh God, may we lay it all at your feet. And may we rest in Your peace.


I'm Kristen, the pajama mama said...

I'm so sorry.

i did come across a tweet from John Piper this week that I found comforting:

@JohnPiper To manage a life of pain, as a believer in Jesus, remember: This is all the hell you will ever have to bear.

life has been moving on to new firsts, but know that your family is still being lifted up in prayer everyday.

Kristen said...

This is a very astute observation about lasts being just as/ more difficult than firsts. Memories can provide comfort and turmoil. As always I appreciate your honesty and perspective. I have learned that sometimes there are not any words to say, and we just need to let others feel what they are feeling. But you and your family are prayed for regularly.

Paige said...

I hit that last Saturday... the last time we went to eat together, Jason's Deli. We went back to her house, sat on the couch, looked at websites and watched recorded American Idol as our kids put on their own performance. She missed my birthday celebration because she didn't feel well, but sent all kinds of crazy texts to me to make me feel special. On my birthday, she sent me texts to pray for her as her fever hit an all time high... I received a text that prayers were answered as her fever did break. Went to buy running shoes that night for my birthday so me and Jenny could run together with our husbands. Next day, FEBRUARY 4th. Praying for you!

Kyle R. said...

Walking with you, brother.

bartsirmandvm said...

You and Beverly are continually in my prayers. Let me know if I can do anything to lighten your load. I will gladly do anything I can to help. God's peace be with you.

jason reeves said...

We pray for you and your family every day.

Glory to God!


annie said...


This is cousin Andee. I've really talked straight to anyone I know who has even THOUGHT they might have strep this season to go get an antibiotic. What I'm wondering about Jenny is this: did she not exhibit any of the typical symptoms of strep--like a throat so sore she couldn't swallow? I'm finding out that several who end up having strep these days, don't necessarily complain about their throat, & hence, get a wrong diagnosis. With my kids & myself, it was ALWAYS a horrible throat, so easy to recognize.

Have really been thinking of you all, & figured you have been reliving these days minute by minute. Your describing "the lasts" rather than the "firsts" is so very poignant. Praying for all of you!

Rick Ross said...

Hi Annie,

Jenny exhibited all the typical symptoms of strep -- including a terrible rash(so bad her skin was peeling). Unfortunately she got sick during the swine flu season, so the doctor (PA) assumed that is what she had.

Our doctors at the hospital told us that most people's bodies will fight off strep on their own. But for some reason, the strain Jenny had was very aggressive and fast-spreading.

annie said...

Rick, Thank you so much for responding to my questions about Jenny's strep symptoms. I can't imagine the pain you are reliving this month---all the months, actually. Know that I pray often for you & your family. Please tell Beverly that her "hard" statement has given me 'pause' on this ordinary Monday afternoon, too.....